Fights are gonna happen

It’s marriage, not a fairy tale.

But the way to fight?

That’s what makes the difference between a couple that grows together and one that’s ready to call it quits.

Step 1: Soften

When things heat up, it’s easy to go full steam ahead. But it’s important to soften up. Take a breath, dial it down a notch.

No need to go in like it’s a bar fight. It’s your wife, not some dude who cut you off in traffic.

Step 2: Touch

This might sound nuts, but touching helps. In the middle of a fight, the last thing anyone wants to do is reach out, but that’s the move. Put a hand on her shoulder, maybe grab her hand.

It’s hard to keep throwing verbal punches when there’s a physical reminder of the love that’s there. It’s a way of saying, “Hey, we’re still in this together,” even if things are heated.

Step 3: Then Words

Now it’s time for the words. After softening and making some contact, choose the words carefully. Winning the argument isn’t the goal, fixing the situation is.

Say what needs to be said, but do it in a way that moves things forward instead of adding more fuel to the fire.

Fighting is gonna happen.

It’s not about avoiding it. It’s about handling it right.

Soften up, reach out, then say what needs to be said … in a way that doesn’t turn the home into a war zone.

Recommended Reading: Why Talking Is Not Enough